Abbott Elementary Quotes

Abbott Elementary Quotes – the Abbott Elementary series takes a comedic look into the lives of elementary teachers. With a colorful set of characters, they’re plenty of fun lines delivered. From short quips to tongue-in-cheek moments, there are plenty of memorable moments and quotes from this series. These are just some of the best quotes from the series.

Top 10 Abbott Elementary Quotes

• “We care so much we refuse to burn out. If we burn out who’s here for the kids?”
  – Melissa
  
• “I know this school is rough, but we make do.”
  – Janine
  
• “We do this because we’re supposed to. It’s a calling. You answered.”
  – Melissa
  
• “This is a classroom, not a hoagie stand.”
  – Barbara
  
• “There’s nothing wrong with having some room for improvement”
  – Melissa
  
• “I would love to till the fertile soil and grow the minds of tomorrow”
  – Jacob
  
• “This is it yall, the end times, its three months early but it’s happening”
  – Ava
  
• “Tech has its place, like when you haven’t been with a man for a few years”
  – Barbara
  
• “Well as Melissa would say, snitches get stitches.”
  – Barbara
  
• “It’s not that hard. You just kinda have to take what people give you like ‘You old moth ball looking sweater boy.'”
  – Gregory to Jacob when asked how to roast
  

More Funny Lines from the Series

• “She fell like a zombie. You know they eat the hottest people first. Let me back my tasty ass back up.”
  – Ava
  
• “It’s like they walked into the Haunted Mansion at Disney- which is a very scary ride, I don’t care what they say.”
  – Janine
  
• “My support was gomna do about as much asthat year old bra you got on right now”
  – Barbara to Janine
  
• “Yeah, I guess, like, “thumbs up” is kind of out thing now… Wow, you think you know someone – and then they cheat on you with their thumb”
  – Jacob about Gregory
  
• “What is this like an iPhone 9? It’s like a Walkman. I don’t know nothing about this- that’s before my time.”
  – Ava
  
• “I shook mine out and all the asthma kids had to go to the nurse’s office.”
  – Jacob
  
• “I thought one of my colleagues here hired a stripper for me.”
  – Ava
  
• “I’m the sub for the teacher who, uh… punted a student”
  – Gregory
  
• “For primary classes, rugs are like a calming space for kids. It’s like a Xanax. Like a huge Xanax for kids to sit on”
  – Janine
  
• “Okay, then bring your little Nissan sandwich with you.”
  – Barbara
  

Even More Great Lines from the Show

• “No press is bad press Barb. Look at Mel Gibson, still thriving.”
  – Ava
  
• “I still don’t know what kind of teacher I want to be, but I think I ant to stay around and figure it out. Plis, the kids probably want to see their art on the wall.”
  – Gregory
  
• “Hell yeah I’m a doomsday prepper. Why wouldn’t I be? I don’t know why more people aren’t.”
  – Ava
  
• “Here you are teaching on the moon. In a space durag.”
  – Janine
  
• “See, that’s the other thing me and Barbara learned. All that at home stuff, you gotta leave it right at the door. Otherwise you open up a whole another Panera’s box of problems”
  – Melissa

If you liked these quotes, check out our “The Righteous Gemstones Quotes” and “Peacemaker Quotes.”

Take a peek at the series by checking out its trailer: