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Avenue 5 Quotes

Avenue 5 QuotesAvenue 5 is technically science fiction but the series perceived different genres that extend from our reality into a hyperbolic future. The  “Avenue 5” is the name of the luxurious eponymous mammoth vessel enjoying an eight-week maiden voyage around the solar system with the perfectly bearded Ryan Clark as captain – it is an ideal eight-week vacation not until  “Avenue 5” has technical difficulties and out of its route and ends up stranded on the long way back to Earth from Saturn. Avenue 5 Quotes is a compiled motivational and humorous quotes from the TV series.

Top Avenue 5 Quotes

  • “Classic Jesus. You mess with his money he f**ks you right up.”
        — Matt Spencer (Zach Woods), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • “I’m the alpha and the beta!”
        — Herman Judd (Josh Gad), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • “If it’s any consolation, I hate me.”
        — Ryan Clark (Hugh Laurie), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • “I’m going to do 600 push-ups and then throw up in the sink.”
        — Rav Mulcair (Nikki Amuka-Bird), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • If for some reason it doesn’t work out I’m going to name a sports center or artificial ski slope after you.
        — Herman Judd (Josh Gad), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • “We’re gonna suck a person out of this person.”
        — Herman Judd (Josh Gad), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • You can do this because quite frankly you have to.
        — Billie McEvoy (Lenora Crichlow), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • Feels like I’m trying to urinate in front of a war crimes tribunal.
        — Ryan Clark (Hugh Laurie), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • My patience has snapped like a 200-year-old breadstick.
        — Ryan Clark (Hugh Laurie), Avenue 5, Season 1
  • NASA stands for ‘Not Any more Stupid A****es!’
        — Herman Judd (Josh Gad), Avenue 5, Season 1

20+ Avenue 5 Quotes

  • “You’re not getting in some escape pod, are you?’
    Ryan Clark: ‘Ma’m, if I had an escape pod, I would put you in it. [Whispers] And set the f**king thing on fire.”
  • “What the hell is going on?”
    “Should we be scared?”
    “This is a safe space, emotionally. Physically, we’re obviously in terrible danger.”
  • “We hit a patch of choppy space.”
  • “I’m the alpha and the beta!”
  • “I’m laughing because I’m terrified.”
  • “So you’re at peace. I’m gonna go fix some more passengers now.” (Matt to Doug and Mia) 
  • “Do you love to drink? I know my dad did. Why don’t you come down and enjoy a nice, cold glass.” (Matt’s video advertisement for the ship’s bar) 
  • “I am trained to make sure your body wash gets replenished, not to rectify the catastrophe of human existence.” (Matt to irate passengers) 
  • “Space is cold, Captain. You know that right? Joe’s blood is frozen.” (Billie to Clark) 
  • “He says he’s had four long term relationships, and that his band has been downloaded 90 million times.” (About Cyrus) 
  • “So, uh, there may be some more bad news, or as I’m learning to call it, news.” (Billie to Clark) 
  • “The three injured passengers, no longer injured … they’re dead.” (Billie to Clark) 
  • “Well, um, my concern is that, uh, you have no skills as a captain beyond fuzzy charm which is already kind of getting old. You can’t seem to hold the same accent, which is kinda crazy. And, uh, also, if you hand me the mic again to talk to those passengers, I will beat you over the head with it and I will ram it down your esophagus.” (Billie to Clark) 
  • “So, if trajectory porn is your thing, prepare to get your rocks off.” (Billie to Clark) 
  • “You know – and this has never happened before – I don’t actually know.” (Billie to Clark) 
  • “These people are so dumb, I’m just hanging out with pigs and dolphins when we get back.” (Billie to Clark)
  • “There’s even a soft play area. Yay. I want one.” (About Avenue 5
  • “I’m going to do 600 push-ups then throw up in the sink.” (Rav to Alan) 
  • “They’re not gonna sue the man who owns the oxygen supply,” (Judd to Iris) 
  • “Regardless, It’s my tree and I say yes, we tell now.” (Judd to Clark, Billie, and Iris) 
  • “First of all, I have a much greater social media presence than NASA does. Second, don’t you ever talk to me like that again, unless you do it in proper English, which is American.” (Judd to Clark) 
  • “Iris, come find me. I’m in chickens.” (Judd to Iris) 
  • “I believe in you, but if for whatever reason it doesn’t work out I’m gonna name a sports center or artificial ski slope after you.” (Judd to Clark) 
  • “I’ll be in my cabin with a protein ball and a gun.” (Judd to Iris) 
  • “We’re gonna suck a person out of another person.” (Judd to Billie and Clark) 

Avenue 5 Quotes (Ryan Clark)

  • “It’s a bag with some of my friends in it.” (Clark to Karen about the bag of Joe
  • “Let go, alright, I can do this, I’m not in a care home.” (Clark to Billie) 
  • “As long as it keeps people from murdering me in my bed, I’ll be happy.” (About the supposed face of the Pope) 
  • “Billie, don’t ever show anyone your feelings. Alright? Just bury them as deep as you can. Scrunch them up into a little ball and then just- Grow a couple of ulcers if you wanna mark the spot but otherwise, just smile and pretend everything is fine.” (Clark to Billie) 
  • “Slot? This is a marriage, not a f**king squash court.” (Clark to Stan and Cris) 
  • “Seriously though, on a scale of one to ‘we’re all going to die’ how f**ked did you think we were when you found out I’m just a beard in a Sergeant Pepper uniform?” (To the Real Crew) 
  • “A king’s ransom for anyone who knows what the f**k they’re doing!” (Clark to the Bridge Crew) 
  • “Go and play with Judd, because you’ve been a wild kind of useless.” (Clark to Matt) 
  • “God speed my sweaty little friend.” (Clark to Cyrus) 
  • “Maybe he’s climbing into a freezer and hoping to wait for the whole thing out.” (About Judd to Billie and Iris) 
  • “Oh, Lord! Am I married to this? Stan, baby, you look amazing. I love those glasses. You look very clever. When I put mine on I just look like a welder.” (Clark to Stan) 
  • “We just watched seven people stupid themselves to death.” (About people jumping out the airlock) 
  • “Feels like I’m trying to urinate in front of a war crimes tribunal.” (Clark to the Real Crew) 
  • “They tried to space lynch, Frank.” (Clark to Billie and Karen) 
  • “Right. The things that are not good about this, one of them is, I’m still drunk.” (Clark to Billie) 

One of the few clips from Avenue 5

And even though it is a short clip there are some awesome quotes!

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