Cat jokes

• • What do you call a pile of kittens?
    A meowntain.

• • What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
    A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

• • Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
    Too many cheetahs.

• • What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
    A terrified postman!

• • What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
    I’m paw!

• • What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
    Claw Enforcement.

• • Why are cats so good at video games?
    Because they have nine lives!

• • When is a lion not a lion?
    When he turns into his cage!

• • Why is the cat so grouchy?
    Because he’s in a bad mewd.

• • Why don’t cats like online shopping?
    They prefer a cat-alogue.

• • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
    She had a litter of mittens.

• • What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
    Mice Krispies.

• • What do you call a flying cat?
    I’m-paws-sible.

• • What do tigers wear in bed?
    Stripey pyjamas!

• • Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t?
    Your lap.

• • There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
    None, because they were copycats!

• • Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten, Dan?
    Because curiosity killed the cat burglar.

• • How many cats can you put into an empty box?
    Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

• • What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
    Kitty Perry.

• • Why did the cat wear a dress?
    She was feline fine.

• • How do cats end a fight?
    They hiss and make up.

• • What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
    A car-pet.

• • What is the most breathless thing on television?
    The Pink Panter Show!

• • What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
    A mice cream cone.

• • What is smarter than a talking cat?
    A spelling bee!

• • What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
    The purrpetrator.

• • If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
    Their paws.

• • Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?
    Because it turns “ice” into “mice”!

• • What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
    You got to be kitten me.

• • Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
    To keep an eye on the mouse!

• • Who delivers presents to cats?
    Santa Claws!

• • What did the alien say to the cat?
    Take me to your litter.

• • Why did the cat sleep under the car?
    Because he wanted to wake up oily.

• • What do you call a cat that bowls?
    An alley cat!

• • What is a cat’s favorite color?
    Purrrple!

• • What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
    A stripey jumper!

• • How do you make a cat happy?
    Send it to the Canary Islands!

• • What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
    A sourpuss!

• • What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?
    A peeping tom.

• • What’s a cat’s favorite game?
    Mouse Trap.

• • What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
    Frostbite!

• • How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
    “Pleased to eat you.”

• • What’s a cat’s favorite color?
    Purrr-ple!

• • How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
    They both wear stripes!

• • Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?
    Because he has sandy claws!

• • What do you call a dishonest African cat?
    A lyin’ cub.

Many more cat jokes

• • What is a French cat’s favorite pudding?
    Chocolate mousse!

• • Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?
    Just kitten.

• • Where do cats write down their notes?
    On scratch paper!

• • What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
    A Furrari.

• • If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger?
    A stri-ped!

• • What do you call a cat that gives up?
    A quitty.

• • What looks like half a cat?
    The other half!

• • What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
    Claws.

• • What does a mouse weigh on a cat’s scale?
    About three pounces!

• • What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
    Bad Blood.

• • What do you call a cat that wears make up?
    Glamourpuss.

• • What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
    Petsylvania.

• • What is the cat’s favorite TV show?
    The evening mews!

• • What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
    He felt funny!

• • What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
    Purrr-suasive.

• • What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
    ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’

• • What is a cat’s favorite dance move?
    The Purr-colator.

• • Have you ever seen a catfish?
    No. How did he hold the rod and reel?

• • What’s striped and bouncy?
    A tiger on a pogo stick!

• • What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
    Let us prey.

• • What song does a cat like best?
    Three Blind Mice.

• • How is cat food sold?
    Usually purr can!

• • Why was the cat scared of the tree?
    Because of its bark.

• • What do you feed an invisible cat?
    Evaporated milk.

• • What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
    A catastrophe!

• • What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
    A tiger moth!

• • What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?
    Catch!

• • What is a cats favorite vegetable?
    As-purr-agus.

• • What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
    An octopuss!

• • Why can’t a leopard hide?
    Because he’s always spotted!

• • Who was the most powerful cat in China?
    Chairman Miaow!

• • Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
    Because it “littered.

• • Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?
    It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.

• • Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
    Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

• • What do cats like to eat on sunny days?
    Mice cream cones!

• • What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote?
    Paws.

• • What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
    A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

• • Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
    She let the cat out of the bag.

• • What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?
    A pet project.

• • Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
    She was purr-plexed.

• • How do the Vietnamese like their soup?
    Purrrrrfect.

• • Why was the cat so small?
    Because it only ate condensed milk!

• • What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
    Santa Claws!

• • What kind of car does a fat cat drive?
    A Catillac!

• • What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool?
    The “whisker”.

• • What do you call a cat that smells good?
    Prrrr-fume.

• • What do cats wear at night?
    Paw-jamas!

• • What is a cats favorite musical instrument?
    Purr-cussion.

• • Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
    Because it squeaked.

• • What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
    An eskimew!

• • What do you call a cat on ice?
    One cool cat.

• • Why are cats better than babies?
    Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

The last 25 funny cat jokes

• • What is a feline’s favorite day of the week?
    Caturday.

• • What do you call a cat that can address the media?
    A Press Kit.

• • Why did the cat go to the river?
    Claws it wanted to.

• • What do you call a painting of a cat?
    A paw-trait.

• • What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
    Ten after One.

• • What do you call a cat that does tricks?
    A magic kit.

• • What is a cat’s favourite subject in school?
    HISStory.

• • What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
    Hiss and Tell.

• • What’s the first thing you say to a cat?
    HELLO KITTY!

• • What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?
    Purrr-verted.

• • Why did the cat cross the road?
    It was the chicken’s day off!

• • What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
    He stole the whole show!

• • How do you make cats furry?
    The spin cycle.

• • What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
    Quicksand.

• • What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
    Me-ow!

• • For a man to truly understand rejection.
    He must first be ignored by a cat.

• • What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
    Sandy Claws!

• • Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?
    She was a sher-paw.

• • Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
    That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse.

• • Two cats are sitting in front of bird’s cage and observe a newly arrived green canary.
    One cat says to the other, “It really is a strange color for a bird. Maybe he’s not ripe yet.”

• • Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Kitten.
    Kitten, who?
    Quit kitten around and open the door!

• • A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a cat sitting next to him.
    “Are you a cat?” asked the man, surprised.
    “Yes,” the cat replied.
    “What are you doing at the movies??” the man asked.
    “Well,” said the cat. “I liked the book.”

• • A young boy felt bad after he accidentally let the neighbor’s cat get loose. After two weeks, the missing cat seemed to be gone for good.
    “I’m very sorry,” the boy told the neighbor.
    “I’d like to replace it for you.”
    “O.K.,” the neighbor said. “How good are you at catching mice?”

• • How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show?
    Somebody didn’t shut the champion’s cage properly.

• • Since my cat is getting old, I’m gonna start calling him by a new name…
    GrandPAW.