Ford jokes

• • What do you call a Ford with dual exhausts?
    A wheelbarrow.

• • What does the GT stand for on a Ford?
    Glued together!

• • What do you call a Ford at the top of a Hill?
    A Miracle.

• • Why does the new Ford Escape parallel park itself?
    Because white trash can only trailer park!

• • What’s the difference between a ford and a Mormon?
    You can shut the door on a Mormon!

• • Why Pokemon Go a lifesaver?
    Because it gives Ford owners something to do while they walk home.

• • What is the Ford owner’s most ardent wish?
    To buy a car.

• • Why does a ford and a tin can have in common?
    They both rust just as far.

• • How long can a ford go for with out repairs?
    Depends if you can leave the ford dealer.

• • What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill?
    A mirage.

• • What do you call a Ford with 200,000 miles on it?
    A lie.

• • Driving a ford is like the special Olympics.
    Even if you win your still a retard.

• • What did the Toyota say to the Ford?
    Would you like a tow home?

• • What do you call a Ford with a seat belt?
    A rucksack.

• • Friends don’t let friends drive Fords.

• • How do you double the value of a Ford Focus?
    Full the tank with petrol.

• • Why is this country so far in debt?
    Because the president drives a Ford.

• • What’s worse then a missing toilet bowl?
    Driving a Ford.

• • What should the Ford Mustang really be called?
    The Ford Rustang.

• • Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To push he’s FORD F150 back into the dealer’s show room.

• • Why do the new FORD Explorers have larger bumpers?
    To make it easier on the towe trucks.

• • What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented?
    A Model T-Rex.

• • What is the difference between a Ford and a porcupine?
    Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

More Ford jokes

• • Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Ford trucks?
    To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.

• • Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
    Because his F150 got stuck.

• • Why are FORD dealers giving away a dog with each FORD sold?
    So the owner has a companion to walk home with.

• • What did the Toyota say to the Ford on the side of the road?
    Rust-in-peace.

• • What is the difference between a Ford and a tampon?
    A tampon comes with it’s own tow rope.

• • Why are the latest Fords so aerodynamically designed?
    It improves the Chevy tow truck’s fuel consumption.

• • What is the aim of a Ford concept car?
    An attempt to keep their car running.

• • Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Fords?
    So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.

• • How can they improve a Ford Focus?
    Put a Toyota engine in it.

• • Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
    So FORD owners have a safe place to walk home.

• • What’s the difference between a Ford and the principal’s office?
    It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal’s office.

• • What is the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley?
    A shopping trolley is much easier to push.

• • How do you make a Ford go faster downhill?
    Turn off the engine.

• • What’s the difference between a golfball and a Ford?
    A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.

• • Why does Ford make tractors and Opel not?
    Because Opel can’t get anything to run that slow.

• • What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
    Max speed – 60 km/h – Fords do best you can.

• • What goes on pages 4-5 of the Ford’s user’s manual?
    The train & bus schedule.

• • What’s better, a Ford or a Chevy?
    Who cares. Will it get me to Walmart?