A Top 35+ List of Funny Quotes About Cleaning

Funny Quotes About Cleaning – Cleaning is a chore that people have different feelings for. Whatever someone may feel about cleaning, it is something that needs to be done at one point. Whether it be cleaning a room or an entire area though, someone always has something to say about it. Even with the act of cleaning itself, there is no shortage of jokes and lines about it. Speaking of jokes, you’ll find there are plenty of hilarious lines that poke at the activity. Saying or reading something funny about an activity is just one of the ways to make anything fun. If you need something to bring out a laugh while doing chores, here are some funny quotes about cleaning to enjoy:

• “Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places”  
• “First rule of house cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone.”  
• “Wow, honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?”
• “I had to clean my house for two hours just to tell guests “Sorry about the mess!” 
• “I clean when I’m frustrated. so if you show up unannounced and our house is clean… you might want to reconsider your visit.”  
• “Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and think, “well my house looks great!” “  
• “Just cleaned my whole house from top to bottom, so now I’m going to need everybody to stop living here.”  
• “I have discovered the secret to a clean house: never let your children or husband enter it.”   
• “Dear small line of dirt that won’t go into the dustpan I hate you with every part of my soul.”    
• “I’m going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine and spraying everything withOdor remover.”
• “You know that amazing feeling when you go to bed knowing your entire house is clean? Ya, neither do I.”
• “My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up the room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.”
• “Someone sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house. It worked! The more vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked!”
• “I don’t care about Disney lying about my prince charming. I’m more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.”
• “When you just finished cleaning the house and someone comes in throwing all their stuff around.”

More Funny Quotes About Cleaning

• “Both of us can’t look good at the same time, it’s me or the house. “  
• “Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.” 
• “I get more cleaning done in the  10 minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.”  
• “When I say “I cleaned my room” I usually mean, I made a path from my door to my bed.”  
• “I was going to clean the house, but then somebody commented on my status. “
• “I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lay down and nap until the feeling passes.”
• “Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.”  
• “Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.”                                                                                                                                                 
• “You know what would make house cleaning way more fun? A maid.”
• “My room isn’t messy, it’s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.”
• “Instead of organizing and cleaning my house I spend all day pining about organizing and cleaning.”
• “Be nice to your cleaning lady… She is the only one who knows which rag she washed your coffee mug and desk with.”

Other Hilarious Lines Related to Cleaning

• “Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.”
  – Mario Buatta
• “My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”
  – Erma Bombeck  
• “The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.”
  – Roseanne Barr  
• “Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it.”
  – Evan Esar  
• “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ”
  – Phyllis Diller  
• “I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”
  – Joan Rivers  
• “Sweeping only moves the dust somewhere else.”
  – Marty Rubin  
• “We dream of having a clean house — but who dreams of actually doing the cleaning?”
  – Marcus Buckingham
• “Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.”
  – Marcelene Cox
• “My favorite way of getting out of doing chores is by acting like I’m asleep. But it never works.”
  – Devon Werkheiser

If you enjoyed these quotes, you should check out our Funny Quotes About Work and Jokes About Being Tired.