Halloween jokes

• • What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
    Ghoul-aid!

• • Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
    He didn’t have any guts!

• • Know why skeletons are so calm?
    Because nothing gets under their skin.

• • What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
    Spelling.

• • What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music?
    Wrap!

• • What do ghosts eat for supper?
    Spooketi.

• • Why did the ghost go into the bar?
    For the Boos.

• • What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
    Hope it’s Halloween!

• • Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
    Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

• • Why did the skeleton cross the road?
    To get to the body shop.

• • Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
    He heard it had great circulation.

• • Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
    His heart wasn’t in it.

• • What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
    You suck.

• • Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
    Because you can see right through them!

• • Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
    So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

• • What do you call a fat pumpkin?
    A plumpkin.

• • What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
    Ghoul.

• • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
    Because he had no BODY to go with.

• • Where does a ghost go on vacation?
    Mali-boo.

• • What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
    “Trike or Treat”?

Funny Halloween jokes

• • Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
    At the casketeria.

• • Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
    His “ghoul” friend!

• • What do you call a witch’s garage?
    A broom closet.

• • What room does a ghost not need?
    A living room!

• • What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
    He is mist.

• • What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
    A nectarine!

• • Why don’t mummies take time off?
    They’re afraid to unwind.

• • Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
    Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!

• • Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
    Because he wears a size “S”.

• • What is in a ghost’s nose?
    Boo-gers.

• • What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
    Shamboo!

• • Why doesn’t Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat.
    Because of the coffin.

• • “Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf.”
    “Please be quiet and comb your face.”

• • What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
    A sandwich!

• • What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
    A toasty ghosty.

• • What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
    Booberries!

• • What do birds say on Halloween?
    Twick o tweet.

• • What is a vampires favorite holiday?
    Fangsgiving.

• • What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
    I scream!

• • When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
    When you’re a mouse.

• • What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
    Mas-scare-a.

• • What does a skeleton say before dinner?
    Bone appetit!

Last 20 Haloween jokes

• • What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
    Mummies!

• • Who was the most famous ghost detective?
    Sherlock Moans.

• • What did one owl say to the other owl?
    Happy Owl-ween!

• • What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
    Boo-Jeans.

• • What do you call two spiders that just got married?
    Newlywebbed.

• • What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
    Scarespray!

• • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite.

• • Who was the most famous witch detective?
    Warlock Holmes.

• • Why is a skeleton so mean?
    He doesn’t have a heart.

• • Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
    Because they have a lot of spirit.

• • Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?
    To see the boogy man.

• • What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
    Booberry pie!

• • What do vampires take when they are sick?
    Coffin drops!

• • What instrument do skeleton play?
    Trom-BONE.

• • What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
    A fence.

• • What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
    Do you believe in humans?

• • Why do vampires scare people?
    They are bored to death!

• • Where do ghosts buy their food?
    At the ghost-ery store!

• • What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
    Count Quackula!

• • What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
    It’s a pain in the neck.