Jokes

# Math jokes

Hello and welcome to **math jokes**. Here you will find funny, clever, silly and just plain weird jokes about math. Some of these jokes require some basic mathematic knowledge of mathematics otherwise, you are good to go. Enjoy.

- Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?

Student: You told me not to use tables.

- Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?

- What happened to the plant in math class?

It grew square roots.

- What happened to the plant in math class?

- After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.

“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

- After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

- My girlfriend’s the square root of -100.

A perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

- My girlfriend’s the square root of -100.

- Hear about the statistician
who drowned crossing a river?

It was three feet deep on average.

- Hear about the statistician
who drowned crossing a river?

- How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?

Avacado’s Number.

- How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?

- Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?

They required an orientation.

- Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?

- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

- Two statisticians go bird hunting.

The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.

The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.

They both give each other a high-five and say “Got it!”.

- Two statisticians go bird hunting.

- Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?

Because she sprained her angle!

- Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?

- I put my root beer in a square glass.

Now it’s just beer.

- I put my root beer in a square glass.

- Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

- Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

- “What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?”

“She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me.”

“I don’t believe that she cheated on you!”

“Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns.”

- “What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?”

- Why do mathematicians like parks?

Because of all the natural logs.

- Why do mathematicians like parks?

- How do you make seven an even number?

Take the s out!

- How do you make seven an even number?

- Why is a math book always unhappy?

Because it always has lots of problems.

- Why is a math book always unhappy?

- Did you hear the one about the statistician?

Probably.

- Did you hear the one about the statistician?

- Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

It’s two gross.

- Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

- What do you call friends who love math?

Algebros.

- What do you call friends who love math?

- Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?

They were right for each other.

- Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?

- Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

- How do you know your math tutor is hungry?

He’ll work for pi.

- How do you know your math tutor is hungry?

- Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10.

- Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?

- Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?

Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!

- Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?

- Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

- Why did I divide sin by tan?

- Why didn’t the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

- Why didn’t the number 4 get into the nightclub?

- What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A roamin’ numeral.

- What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

- Where do math teachers go on vacation?

To Times Square.

- Where do math teachers go on vacation?

- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?

Because it was over 90 degrees.

- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?

- How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?

A Mobius strip club.

- How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?

- Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?

They had nothing in common.

- Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?

- What is the first derivative of a cow?

Prime Rib!

- What is the first derivative of a cow?

- Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

- Why is 6 afraid of 7?

## More math jokes

- What does the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!

- What does the zero say to the eight?

- What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?

A Tangent.

- What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?

- How does a math professor propose to his fiancé?

With a polynomial ring!

- How does a math professor propose to his fiancé?

- How is an artificial Christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?

Neither has real roots.

- How is an artificial Christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?

- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?

He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?

- What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.

- What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

- What is a math teacher’s favorite type of tree?

A “Geome-tree”.

- What is a math teacher’s favorite type of tree?

- What is a proof?

One-half percent of alcohol.

- What is a proof?

- What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?

Snappy answers.

- What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?

- Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?

Because it is never right.

- Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?

- Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?

They already 8! (ate).

- Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?

- What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

- What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

- What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?

Arithma-ticks!

- What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?

- What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A middle school math problem!

- What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

- What is normed, complete, and yellow?

A Bananach space.

- What is normed, complete, and yellow?

- Why did the boy eat his math homework?

Because the teacher told him, it was a piece of cake.

- Why did the boy eat his math homework?

- How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?

Warsaw!

- How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?

- How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?

“I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times.”

- How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?

- What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?

Nice Legs.

- What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?

- What is the world’s longest song?

“Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”

- What is the world’s longest song?

- What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race?

2 Fast 4 U!

- What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race?

- How do you know when you’ve reached your Math Professors voice-mail?

The message is “The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again.”

- How do you know when you’ve reached your Math Professors voice-mail?

- How do you teach a blonde math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.

- How do you teach a blonde math?

- What’s the king of the pencil case?

The ruler.

- What’s the king of the pencil case?

### The last 10 math jokes

- Why don’t people put the numbers 2, 3, and 0 together?

Because they are two turdy.

- Why don’t people put the numbers 2, 3, and 0 together?

- What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

An algorithm!

- What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

- What’s the difference between a diameter and a radius?

A Radius.

- What’s the difference between a diameter and a radius?

- What did the mathematician’s parrot say?

A poly “no meal”.

- What did the mathematician’s parrot say?

- What is the definition of a polar bear?

A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.

- What is the definition of a polar bear?

- Why shouldn’t you argue with a decimal?

Decimals always have a point.

- Why shouldn’t you argue with a decimal?

- What did one math book say to the other?

Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!

- What did one math book say to the other?

- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

Because it had more cents.

- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

- How do you solve any equation?

Multiply both sides by zero.

- How do you solve any equation?

- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

Because you can’t drink and derive.

- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

*This videoe was uploaded by “Numberphile”*

Hey guys I hope you liked these math jokes as much as I did. These jokes are on the light side. I have many more and they are more hardcore, meaning that the basic math knowledge is not enough to understand them. Some required pretty high knowledge of different aspects of math. If you like me to add them, please leave a comment down below.

Have a great day.