Math jokes

math-jokesHello and welcome to math jokes. Here you will find funny, clever, silly and just plain weird jokes about math. Some of these jokes require some basic mathematic knowledge of mathematics otherwise, you are good to go. Enjoy.

    • Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
      Student: You told me not to use tables.
    • What happened to the plant in math class?
      It grew square roots.
    • After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
      “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
      “I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

    • Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
      He worked it out with a pencil.
    • My girlfriend’s the square root of -100.
      A perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
    • Hear about the statistician 
who drowned crossing a river?
was three feet deep on average.
    • How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?
      Avacado’s Number.
    • Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?
      They required an orientation.
    • Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
      He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
    • Two statisticians go bird hunting.
      The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
      The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
      They both give each other a high-five and say “Got it!”.
    • Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?
      Because she sprained her angle!
    • I put my root beer in a square glass.
      Now it’s just beer.
    • Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
      To get to the same side.
    • “What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?”
      “She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me.”
      “I don’t believe that she cheated on you!”
      “Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns.”
    • Why do mathematicians like parks?
      Because of all the natural logs.
    • How do you make seven an even number?
      Take the s out!
    • Why is a math book always unhappy?
      Because it always has lots of problems.
    • Did you hear the one about the statistician?
    • Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
      It’s two gross.
    • What do you call friends who love math?
    • Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?
      They were right for each other.
    • Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
    • How do you know your math tutor is hungry?
      He’ll work for pi.
    • Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
      Because X was always 10.
    • Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?
      Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
    • Why did I divide sin by tan?
      Just cos.
    • Why didn’t the number 4 get into the nightclub?
      Because he is 2 square.
    • What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
      A roamin’ numeral.
    • Where do math teachers go on vacation?
      To Times Square.
    • Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
      Because it was over 90 degrees.
    • How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?
      A Mobius strip club.
    • Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?
      They had nothing in common.
    • What is the first derivative of a cow?
      Prime Rib!

    • Why is 6 afraid of 7?
      Because 7 8 9.

More math jokes

    • What does the zero say to the eight?
      Nice belt!
    • What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?
      A Tangent.
    • How does a math professor propose to his fiancé?
      With a polynomial ring!
    • How is an artificial Christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?
      Neither has real roots.
    • Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
      He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
    • What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
      The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.
    • What is a math teacher’s favorite type of tree?
      A “Geome-tree”.
    • What is a proof?
      One-half percent of alcohol.
    • What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?
      Snappy answers.
    • Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?
      Because it is never right.
    • Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
      They already 8! (ate).
    • What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
      A large pizza can feed a family of four.
    • What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?
    • What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
      A middle school math problem!
    • What is normed, complete, and yellow?
      A Bananach space.
    • Why did the boy eat his math homework?
      Because the teacher told him, it was a piece of cake.
    • How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?
    • How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?
      “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times.”
    • What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?
      Nice Legs.
    • What is the world’s longest song?
      “Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”
    • What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race?
      2 Fast 4 U!
    • How do you know when you’ve reached your Math Professors voice-mail?
      The message is “The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again.”
    • How do you teach a blonde math?
      Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
    • What’s the king of the pencil case?
      The ruler.

The last 10 math jokes

    • Why don’t people put the numbers 2, 3, and 0 together?
      Because they are two turdy.
    • What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
      An algorithm!
    • What’s the difference between a diameter and a radius?
      A Radius.
    • What did the mathematician’s parrot say?
      A poly “no meal”.
    • What is the definition of a polar bear?
      A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.
    • Why shouldn’t you argue with a decimal?
      Decimals always have a point.

    • What did one math book say to the other?
      Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    • Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
      Because it had more cents.
    • How do you solve any equation?
      Multiply both sides by zero.
    • Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
      Because you can’t drink and derive.
A great video where you both hear the math jokes and later the explanations. This is really nerdy.

This videoe was uploaded by “Numberphile”

Hey guys I hope you liked these math jokes as much as I did. These jokes are on the light side. I have many more and they are more hardcore, meaning that the basic math knowledge is not enough to understand them. Some required pretty high knowledge of different aspects of math. If you like me to add them, please leave a comment down below.

Have a great day.

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