Pirate jokes
How cool would it be if we could be pirates? I know that it would not be like the movie pirates of the caribbean. But still adventures at sea, treasures and sea monsters Arggg. Well if we can’t be pirates the one thing I can give you is pirate jokes. At the bottom of this list, you will find a funny video with pirate jokes.
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- Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
- Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
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- It always struck me as odd that the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD had a piracy warning.
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- What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs?
A beginner.
- What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs?
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- What do you call a pirate that skips class?
Captain Hooky!
- What do you call a pirate that skips class?
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- How did Captain Hook died?
Multiple stabbings. He got a bad case of an itchy rash.
- How did Captain Hook died?
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- Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
- Why is pirating so addictive?
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- How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think so, therefore they arrr.
- How do pirates know that they are pirates?
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- Why did the pirate go to college?
To become an arrrrchitect!
- Why did the pirate go to college?
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- How do pirates communicate with each other?
With an Aye phone.
- How do pirates communicate with each other?
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- What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.
- What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
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- What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right?
The captain’s log.
- What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right?
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- What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that will talk your head off.
- What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
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- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
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- Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?
Because they’re not very strong in the ‘Arrrr!’ department.
- Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?
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- What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?
The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.
- What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?
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- What has 6 legs, 6 arms and 6 eyes?
6 pirates.
- What has 6 legs, 6 arms and 6 eyes?
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- Who was the first pirate?
Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
- Who was the first pirate?
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- What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego?
Arrrrrrgh!!!
- What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego?
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- What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.
- What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Read more funny pirate jokes
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- How did Capitan Hook die?
He got distracted and wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
- How did Capitan Hook die?
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- In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times.
You know, to wash him ashore.
- In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times.
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- What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
- What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
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- Why did the pirate cross the road?
To reach the second hand shop.
- Why did the pirate cross the road?
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- Dan: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.
Frank: Really? I wonder what he called his hook.
- Dan: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.
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- What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
RRRRRRA!
- What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
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- How does a pirate declutter his ship?
By having a yarrrrd sale.
- How does a pirate declutter his ship?
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- Why are pirates bad at cards?
It’s kind of hard to play when you’re sitting on the deck.
- Why are pirates bad at cards?
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- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
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- What is pirates’ favorite choice of music?
aRR n’ B.
- What is pirates’ favorite choice of music?
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- What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?
The Steady Relationship.
- What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?
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- Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker?
Because they use the patch.
- Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker?
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- How does a pirate get to the top of the building?
By elevataaaarrrrr!
- How does a pirate get to the top of the building?
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- What Did The Pirate Say When His Wooden Leg Got Stuck In The Freezer?
Shiver me timbers!
- What Did The Pirate Say When His Wooden Leg Got Stuck In The Freezer?
The last pirate jokes and pick up lines
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- Why do pirates make great lawyers?
Because they have very good arrrrguments.
- Why do pirates make great lawyers?
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- What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
P. because it would be an R, but it’s missing a leg.
- What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
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- Why don’t pirate marriages last much?
Because of all the arrrrguments.
- Why don’t pirate marriages last much?
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- Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days.
They cost an arm and a leg.
- Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days.
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- Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read?
Because they spend months and months at C.
- Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read?
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- How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology?
It’s the iPatch that gives it away.
- How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology?
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- How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
- How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
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- What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?
He got burnt to the ground.
- What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?
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- Pirate pick up lines:• Care to do some booty plundering with me?
• I’m just a love pirate lookin’ for some booty.
• Is that a wooden leg or are you that happy to see me?
• You must be a pirate, because you can swash my buckle any day.
• Surrender your booty!
• Do you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?
- Pirate pick up lines:• Care to do some booty plundering with me?
This videoe was uploaded by “Ed Bassmaster”
Arrr, matey are you done reading these funny pirate jokes? Well good for you. If you want more then don’t be a strrrrranger. I will add more pirate jokes for those like you and me. Arrrgggg