The 50 Funniest Restaurant Jokes

Restaurant Jokes – Have you ever been to a bad restaurant or had a bad meal from one? Plenty of people have their share of experiences with different restaurants. Sometimes those experiences end up being something a person wants to forget. Just as there are plenty of raving reviews about a hidden gem for food lovers and premium restaurants, there are plenty of places with bad reviews. Whether it’s from bad service or bad food, a negative impression can leave just as big an impact as a positive one. Among the many things a person say about a restaurant, however, there are several jokes to help lighten things, and these hilarious restaurant jokes are proof of this:

• Sign at restaurant reads: Eat here diet home
• I’m going to start a restaurant called: “Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold”. You know what we’re going to serve? Just desserts…
• I’ve opened a restaurant called “Peace And Quiet.” Kids meals only $150.
• Why was the restaurant called “Out of this World”? Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.
• I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
• Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.
• Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger? No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken!
• Have I told you about the time I got kicked out of a Vietnamese restaurant? I left without paying so they had to Banh Mi.
• Went to a pancake restaurant, and asked if my dinner would be long. “No, sir, round” came the reply.
• There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant. Four fish got battered!
• I had a Bison steak at a restaurant recently. When I finished, I asked the waiter for the buffalo bill.
• At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap – but who wants to eat dirt?
• I want to open a restaurant called Pi. All the food is round, but the pie are square.
• The police raided the kitchen of a restaurant where the chef was preparing Eggs Benedict. He was arrested for poaching.
• I went to a restaurant run by dwarves. The food was good but the service was terrible. They were really short staffed.

More Restaurant Jokes

• I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day… and pulled a mussel.
• I want to open an Aerosmith-themed mexican restaurant… and call it ‘Guac This Way’
• We were at a restaurant today and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch. I asked, ‘What do they raise there? Sea horses?
• I asked an Indian restaurant if they gave volume discounts for large catering orders. They said their prices are naan negotiable.
• A restaurant owner offered me a free calamari appetizer if I gave him a good review on Yelp. It was squid pro quo.
• I recently bought into a chain of restaurants well-known for their beef dishes. I’m now a major steak holder in the business.
• A computer goes up to a guy at a restaurant… it says, “I’ll be your server today.”
• Have you heard about the new restaurant called karma? There’s no menu, you just get what you deserve!
• Have you heard they opened one of those Brazilian meat restaurants at the top of the Burj Khalifa? You got to be careful though because the steaks are really high.
• Why didn’t the restaurants bathroom have urinals? It was a sit-down restaurant.
• Have you heard about the activist group that fights for ceramic containers in fast food restaurants? They call themselves the “Bowl movement”.
• Why couldn’t the restaurant owners open a new data center? They didn’t have enough servers.
• Why did the restaurant get rid of their high-top tables? Because they were short staffed.
• What do you call a fancy restaurant that specialises in pork? Swine dining.
• Why was the restaurant server so heavy? Because he is a weighted.

Related Food and Dining Jokes

• Next time I’m at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I’m going to say bleach.
• If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
• I recently went to a comedy restaurant, and there was a chicken with a speech impediment on stage… the food was great, but the yolks were terrible…
• At which fast food restaurant is a hamburger happiest? Arthur Treacher’s Fish and Chips!
• Hello? Paul’s Restaurant. Good evening! Could you tell me, do you serve lobsters? We serve anyone, come on in.
• I went to a great restaurant the other day it has absolute best brats, franks, and other sausages I’ve ever had! It was literally the wurst place in town.
• I went to a restaurant and ordered my naan bread. I don’t know why, she doesn’t even like it.
• I went to a cafe yesterday afternoon, and I had a ploughman’s lunch. He wasn’t happy.
• Have we been to this café before? I’m getting déjà brew.
• When I order food, I always confuse chutney and pickle. It makes me chuckle.
• I had a slice of an excellent German Christmas cake in the local cafe, but can’t find it now. It’s stollen.
• Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
• Is your food very spicy Sir? No, smoke usually comes out of my ears.
• If you’ve seen one large collection of stores and restaurants… you’ve seen the mall.
• I worked at a restaurant that specializes in pizza, but I got fired for getting my finger caught in the dough roller… she got fired too.
• I went to a restaurant that made the worlds biggest pizza base. I would really love to see someone top that.
• At my restaurant job, everyone who works in the kitchen is also a musician. The dishwasher plays guitar OK, but the prep cook shreds on the mandoline.
• Not sure about our new village cafe. It fills me with uncertain tea.
• I went to a cafe yesterday afternoon, and I had a ploughman’s lunch. He wasn’t happy.
• Have we been to this café before? I’m getting déjà brew.

Did you have a laugh? If so, enjoy more jokes with our Dance Jokes and Jokes about Fire.