Science jokes

• • A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

• • A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.”
    A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”

• • I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity.
    I can’t put it down.

• • The optimist sees the glass half full.
    The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
    The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

• • Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

• • Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
    It went OK.

• • I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

• • Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist?
    Because you will get Jurasskicked.

• • If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

• • Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.

• • Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
    The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
    Helium doesn’t react.

• • Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?
    Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

• • Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

• • If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

• • What do clouds do when they become rich?
    They make it rain!

• • Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

• • Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
    Na.

• • When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, “O MG!”

• • Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
    He’s 0K now.

• • Do you know the name Pavlov?
    It rings a bell.

• • Why are atoms Catholic?
    Because they have mass.

• • Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!

• • How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
    An itsy bitsy book.

• • What did the 30 degree angle say to the 90 degree angle?
    “You think you’re always right!”

• • A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
    “What do we want?”.
    “Time travel”
    “When do we want it?”.
    “Irrelevant.”

• • What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?
    2 Na.

• • Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.

• • What does a subatomic duck say?
    Quark!

• • I wish I was adenine, then I could get paired with U.

• • Girl, you’re so hot you denature my proteins.

• • A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

• • How does NASA organize a party?
    How?
    They Planet!

The last 10 of the funny science jokes

• • I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

• • Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
    “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes, I’m positive.”

• • Why can you never trust atoms?
    They make up everything!

• • What element is a girl’s future best friend?
    Carbon.

• • Where does bad light end up?
    In prism.

• • Are you a charged atom?
    Because I got my ion you.

• • What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
    The nucleus.

• • Why did the bear dissolve in water?
    It was polar.

• • Why are chemists great for solving problems?
    They have all the solutions.

• • Sophie: What would a woman version of iron man be called?
    Chris: I don’t know what?
    Sophie: Fe male.