Silly jokes

silly jokesSilly jokes should be enjoyed with happiness and wonder like children do. Ever herd the phrase “When are you going to grow up” or “You are so silly”. Well what’s wrong with being a silly? I say that life is too short to not be silly. Ever wonder why children have such wonder about most things, and why they are happy almost all the time? Because they aren’t serious, they enjoy life, adults forget that sometimes. Be like a kid and enjoy the simple and silly things once in a while.

    • Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
      Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
      Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
      Man: No, I’m a barber.
    • Man to a butcher: “I’d like bull’s testicles.”
      Butcher: “So would I”
    • What did the paper say to the pencil?
      Write on!

    • Why did the math book look so sad?
      Because it had so many problems!
    • Why did the picture go to jail?
      Because it was framed.
    • What do elves learn in school?
      The elf-abet.
    • Where should a 500 pound alien go?
      On a diet.
    • Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
      He wanted to go to high school.
    • What did one toilet say to the other?
      You look a bit flushed.
    • What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
    • What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
      A zebra with a sun burn.
    • What did one wall say to the other wall?
      I’ll meet you at the corner.
    • Which flower talks the most?
      Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!
    • Why was the broom late?
      It over swept!
    • Where do pencils go for vacation?
    • Why do dragons sleep during the day?
      So they can fight knights!
    • What is green and sits crying in the corner?
      The incredible Sulk.
    • What gets wetter the more it dries?
      A towel.
    • Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?
      Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
    • Why do bicycles fall over?
      Because they are two-tired!
    • What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
      Guardians of the Galaxy.
    • What part of the car is the laziest?
      The wheels, because they are always tired!
    • Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
      To go with the traffic jam!
    • What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
      Someday my prints will come!
    • How do you make a tissue dance?
      You put a little boogie in it.
    • What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?
      Keep your shirt on!

Many more silly jokes

    • What is blue and smells like red paint?
      Blue paint.
    • We’re you long in the hospital?
      No, I was the same size I am now!
    • Why do cows wear bells?
      Their horns don’t work.
    • What did the stamp say to the envelope?
      Stick with me and we will go places!
    • What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
      The teacher says spit your gum out, and the train says “chew chew chew.”
    • What is blue and goes ding dong?
      An Avon lady at the North Pole!
    • Why are elephants so wrinkled?
      Because they take too long to iron!

    • What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
      Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
    • What do you call a fake noodle?
      An impasta!
    • Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
      Because he was sitting on the deck!
    • Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
      Because then it would be a foot!
    • Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
      They had just finished a March of 31 days.
    • What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
      I think I’m coming down with something!
    • Why was the belt arrested?
      Because it held up some pants!
    • What makes the calendar seem so popular?
      Because it has a lot of dates!
    • Why are fish so smart?
      Because they live in schools!
    • Which hand is it better to write with?
      Neither, it’s best to write with a pen!
    • Why do you go to bed every night?
      Because the bed won’t come to you!

Here are the last 15 silly jokes

    • What did 0 say to 8?
      Nice belt!
    • What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
      Her nose!
    • Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
      He wanted to find Pluto!
    • What is green and has yellow wheels?
      Grass… I lied about the wheels!
    • What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
      A milk shake!
    • Why did Billy go out with a prune?
      Because he couldn’t find a date!
    • Did you hear about the robbery last night?
      Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!
    • Why did the man run around his bed?
      To catch up on his sleep!
    • What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
      A minnie van!
    • Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
      Because it’s too cold out-tide!
    • What has four wheels and flies?
      A garbage truck!

    • What do you call a pig that knows karate?
      A pork chop!
    • Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
      He wanted to make a clean get away!
    • Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?
      Because they take too long to change!
    • What goes up and down but does not move?
Here is a little video with silly jokes for kids with music.

This videoe was uploaded by “designtree1028”

I’m I guy in my 30s, I am married and have 2 kids. And yes I´m silly sometimes. That’s why I like small silly things like these silly jokes. My life philosophy is all about enjoying life, I don’t want to be that grownup that is serious all the time and don’t have time for silly things with my kids or enjoy a cartoon once in a while. I hope you are living your life to full potential, life it to short otherwise and you only get one change at it. Have a great day.

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