Top 50 Most Hilarious Bank Jokes

Bank Jokes – Banks are something that people have their share of experiences with, both positive and negative. While there is a variety of experiences a person can have with the bank, there is one thing that everyone can enjoy about the bank. That is jokes related to it. From jokes about bank workers to witty comments about income placed in a bank, there is no shortage of funny lines someone can say about the bank, the workers, and the money that is deposited. If you are someone that is having a tough experience with the bank, then you may find something to help brighten your day with these hilarious bank jokes:

• If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
• If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?
• A naked man robbed a bank. Nobody could remember his face.
• I used to have an account with a bank at the North Pole. They froze all my assets.
• If you have no interest in banking. You are not a loan.
• The bank must really like me. They keep telling me that my loan is outstanding.
• I went to the bank to apply for a personal loan.
• Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper. So they didn’t want to Post Malone.
• Sign above bank teller’s station: “To err is human, to forgive is not bank policy.”
• A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed the bank. Police are looking high and low for the culprits.
• Are you a banker? Because I want you to leave me a loan.
• My dad always told me to work until my bank account looks like a phone number. So I did. Account balance: $9.11
• I asked the banker to check my balance. He pushed me.
• Never play poker with a banker. They always have the best suits.
• Dracula said he doesn’t want to become an investment banker…He hates stakeholders.

More Bank Jokes

• What did the tree do when the bank closed? Started its own branch.
• What do you call when you cross a banker and a fish? A loan shark.
• Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank? They’re really good at saving.
• What did the recluse say to the bank teller when he needed money? “Leave me a loan.”
• Why is a river rich? Because it has two banks.
• Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank.
• Why did the bank owner buy cows? To beef up security.
• Why are Irish bankers so successful? Because their capital’s always Dublin.
• What do you call a man with a head full of change? Headquarters.
• Why did the teller lose his job at the bank? An old lady asked him to check her balance so he tipped her over.
• What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank? This is a stand-up.
• What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? “I want my quarterback!”
• Why can’t a bank keep a secret? Because there are too many tellers.
• Why couldn’t the bank robbers steal £2000? Because it was a ton.
• Why don’t sharks attack bankers? Professional courtesy.

Other Funny Lines Related to Banks and Money

• A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes. It’s a real money spinner.
• Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold, hard cash.
• What’s another name for long-term investment? A failed short-term investment.
• I do enjoy getting cash out of the bank and then throwing it in the river and watching it float away. I like studying my cash flow.
• A local bank is introducing a cash machine built into a tree. If it’s successful, they might expand to other branches.
• People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad. But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
• I remember being in so much debt that I couldn’t afford my electricity bills. It was a dark time.
• I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused. They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
• My bank manager doesn’t give my business ideas the credit they deserve.
• A friend’s business “Cooking with Spices” has not been successful. His bank has called in the bay leafs.
• If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only two tellers?
• How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.
• A banker friend told me to put something away for a rainy day. I’ve gone for an umbrella.
• Went to the bank and they told me they could offer me a credit card with no interest. I said, “Why are you bothering then?”
• Why did the banker like the TV show? Because he was invested in the story.
• I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.
• I went to the bank and swapped 100 grapes for 50 raisins. Not sure about the currant exchange rate.
• What starts with 0 and end with 0? My bank account.
• A man visits his bank manager and asks, “How do I start a small business?” The manager replies, “Start a large one and wait six months.”
• What do you call a flawless bank robbery with no fingerprints left behind? Stainless steal.

Did you enjoy these jokes? Have a laugh at more Jokes with our Restaurant Jokes and Exercise Jokes.