Top 50 Funny Quotes About Money

Funny Quotes About Money – Money, everybody has something to say about it. Sometimes, the things that people have to say about money can be rather hilarious. Whether you have positive or negative feelings about money, there is always something funny to say about it. From saving money to having little money, there is always someone who finds a funny side to the subject of money. While not everyone will find lines about money funny, they can lighten things up. If you are someone who can enjoy a few funny lines and perspectives on finances, here are some funny quotes about money to laugh at:

• “Money is the best deodorant.” – Elizabeth Taylor
• “Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
• “Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.” – Helen Gurley Brown
• “ Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.” – Zig Ziglar
• “If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” – Errol Flynn
• “Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” – Satchel Paige
• “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
• “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” – Groucho Marx
• “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham
• “I am having an out of money experience.”
• “A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be”
• “I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”
• “I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet.”
• “I love money more than the things it can buy… but what I love more than money is other people’s money.” 
• “Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” 

Additional Funny Quotes About Money

• “The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
• “I don’t like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.” – Joe Louis
• “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason
• “Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.” –  Will Rogers
• “Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.”- James Arthur Baldwin
• “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” – Malcolm Forbes
• “If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.” – Katherine Hepburn
• “If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
• “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer.” – Gary Reilly
• “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” – Joan Rivers
• “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.” – David Lee Roth
• “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping.” – Bo Derek
• “Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.”
• “It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.”
• “Anyone who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn’t have any.”

Other Hilarious Lines About Finances

• “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
• “When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.” – Nick Arnette
• “Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.” – J. Paul Getty
• “I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed” – George Carlin
• “Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” – Steven Wright
• “I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention.” – Ron Kittle
• “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
• “There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.” – Jack Yelton
• “I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.” – Fran Lebowitz
• “Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery.” – Joan Rivers
• “Someone stole all my credit cards but I won’t be reporting it, the thief spends more than my wife did.” – Henny Youngmen
• “If you know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.” – Benjamin Franklin
• “When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
• “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
• “If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.”
• “It’s easy to meet expenses – everywhere we go, there they are.”
• “They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?”
• “What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.”
• “It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.”
• “I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid.”

Did you have a laugh? Then you may also laugh at our “Funny Quotes About Work” and “Jokes About Coffee.“