Jokes

50 of the Most Hilarious Mom Jokes

mom jokes

Mom Jokes – Everyone knows about dad jokes but do you know about mom jokes? And no, not “Yo Mama” jokes. You’ll find that there is a range of jokes that covers the ups and downs of motherhood and other jokes that cheekily talks about the power of moms. Of course, there are plenty of mom-related puns, but there are more than a few jokes that moms say about the things they have to deal with in their day-to-day life. Being a mom isn’t easy and sometimes humor is a way to deal with things. So if you want to check out something outside of good morning lines for moms or sweet messages for her, here are a few Mom Jokes to bring a laugh:

  • You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal, but necessary.
  • I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.
  • You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
  • Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
  • My nickname is Mom. But my full name is “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.”
  • Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?
  • I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
  • Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.
  • At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.
  • “It’s spicy” is universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.”
  • Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.
  • Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.
  • Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as “getting dressed.”
  • Spit up is my new favorite accessory; no outfit is complete without it.
  • My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as “there appears to have been a struggle.”

More Mom Jokes

Just as there are jokes from moms about motherhood, there are hilarious jokes about the power of moms. Here’s a mix of the two:

  • Before having kids, every mom thinks she’ll be a super-chill mom. That’s because, at that point, we had no idea they’d break all our stuff, make ridiculous demands, and take roughly 10 years to get out of the car.
  • When my kid tells me they got hurt doing exactly what I told them to stop doing so they wouldn’t get hurt, I say, “Oh noooooo…”
  • “I love all my children equally. Except for the one that sleeps… I love that one more.” 
  • Please excuse the mess! My kids are making memories of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess
  • What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
  • Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away — while daddy snores next to you.
  • Mother: (n.) One person who does the work of 20 for free.
  • Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still shoot you daggers for looking at her crazy.
  • Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.
  • When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
  • “If at first you don’t succeed… try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning.”
  • Nothing is really lost until Mom can’t find it. 
  • There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking: Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.
  • Bought my mom a mug that says, “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son.” I forgot to mail it, but I think she knows.
  • Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom’s jokes, Are funnier than you.
  • She believed she could, and she almost did… But then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she totally lost track of what she was doing.
  • What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
  • I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”
  • What is a jumper? Something you wear when your mother gets cold.
  • Science teacher: “When is the boiling point reached?” Student: “When my mother sees my report card!”

Punny Mom Jokes

Just as there is a range of puns in Dad Jokes, there is also a share of puns among Mom Jokes like the following:

  • Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.
  • What do you call a small mom? Minimum.
  • Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
  • I stubbed my toe and my mom shouted at me for yelling, “What the duck!” She was angry that I used fowl language.
  • What is a mom’s favorite flower? Chrysanthemums.
  • What did the mama say to the foal? “It’s pasture your bedtime.”
  • What warm drink helps mom relax? Calm-omile tea.
  • Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.
  • Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!
  • What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.

Jokes from Comedians

We all hear a fair share of jokes from different comedians, there are even a few comedians with famous quotes. Among these comedians and many funny figures are moms who have given hilarious takes on motherhood like the following:

If you enjoyed these jokes, you may also enjoy some “Silly Jokes for Friends.”

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