50 Hilarious and Cheeky New Year Jokes

New Year Jokes – New Year’s Eve and the celebrations that come with it often involve plenty of cheer for the upcoming year or reminiscing about what happened in the past year. Given that there are different ways to celebrate the arrival of the New Year, it should be no surprise that there are a few jokes about the celebration.

Whether it be jokes at the end of the year becoming last year or pokes at New Year’s resolutions, there are all kinds of jokes related to the celebration. Whatever kind of joke you may enjoy, whether it be a clever one-liner or silly pun, here are some of hilarious New Year Jokes to enjoy:

• What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you since last year!
• What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus? No one is ever awake to see them.
• Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting on the punchline.
• What did the dad say at 11:59 p.m. on New Year’s? No more jokes until next year.
• They say New York City has the best New Year’s celebration, but I say it’s overrated. Every year they drop the ball.
• The biggest reason to stay up until midnight on December 31 is to make sure 2023 leaves.
• I’m going to stay up late this New Year’s Eve—not to ring in the New Year, but to make sure this one leaves.
• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
• What is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
• What New Year’s resolution guarantees success? Making a resolution to break your resolution.
• I made a New Year’s resolution to stop procrastinating, but I’m going to wait until next year to start.
• My New Year’s resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.
• My New Year’s resolution was to drop my bad habits, but no one likes a quitter.
• My New Year’s resolution is to see my cup half-full, preferably with rum, gin, vodka, or moonshine.
• What’s the worst part of jogging on New Year’s Eve? The ice falling out of your drink!

Clever New Year Jokes

• Before I agree to 2024, I’m going to need to see the terms and conditions.
• I’m not buying a 2024 calendar until I see the trailer.
• Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31? He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
• Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year’s Eve? He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.
• Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve—it’s December 31.
• Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve? To ring in the New Year.
• Why should you stand on just your left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown? So you start the New Year on the right foot.
• What is the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.
• My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’ll start tomorrow.
• Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting for the punch line.
• What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!
• This New Year’s, I’m going to make a resolution I can keep: no dieting all year long.
• This New Year’s, I’ve resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.
• I made a New Year’s resolution to drink more water. I’ve only gotten as far as “drink more.”
• What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? To travel more.

Other Punny Lines to Laugh At

• Some astronauts wanted to have a New Year’s party on the moon, but they didn’t planet in time.
• This New Year’s, try not to make any pour decisions.
• Celebrating New Year’s has many pros, but what’s the biggest con? The con-fetti!
• Why did the wall collapse on the New Year’s Eve? Because the wall had been plastered.
• I thought I got lost on New Year’s Eve, but then I found the Auld Lang sign.
• What food should you avoid on New Year’s? Firecrackers.
• Where did the chef celebrate New Year’s? Thyme’s Square.
• What’s the one type of pain that you’ll enjoy on New Year’s? Cham-pain!
• How did the computer spend its New Year’s Eve? It had a byte!
• Why do you need a jeweler on December 31? To ring in the New Year.
• What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31? New Year’s Steve!
• What do you say to a cow on January 1? Happy Moo Year!
• Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve? For Old Fangs Time.
• Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.
• My New Year’s resolution is going well, I’ve given up chocolate! Not thinking about it, it’s not even in my vocadbury.
• What did the little champagne bottle call the big bottle? Pop.
• Why did the vegetable go to the New Year’s party? Because it wanted to turnip the fun!
• Why did the music note refuse to go to the New Year’s party? Because it didn’t want to be a flat guest!
• How did the calendar feel as the year came to an end? It was days-pressed!
• What do you call a New Year’s resolution made by a tree? Tree-solutions!

If you had a laugh with these jokes, check out our Presents Jokes for Christmas and Candy Jokes for Halloween.