Jokes

Top 55 Funniest and Clever Harry Potter Jokes for Kids

harry potter jokes for kids

Harry Potter Jokes for Kids – The Harry Potter franchise is known for many things. There is also plenty of topics related to the subject. Among the many things, you can talk about linking to the Harry Potter franchise is the jokes you can make about it. There is a range of jokes relating to books, films, and characters. As a franchise that was originally meant for young adults, there are plenty of silly jokes you can make to appeal to younger audiences. If you are with the family and want to make the kids laugh, here are some hilarious and punny Harry Potter Jokes for Kids you can use:

  • What happened to the sorcerer with an upside-down nose? Every time he sneezed his hat blew off.
  • What do Wizards order most for lunch at Honeydukes? Peanut butter and jelly slug sandwiches.
  • Why didn’t the professors like having Fred and George Weasley at Hogwarts? They never knew which witch was which.
  • How do get kids to eat more lettuce? Serve them Every Flavor Greens
  • Why was the Nimbus 1999 dumped by the Nimbus 2000? He was outdated.
  • Why did dad turn mom into a gopher? She called him an acid pop. 
  • Do you know which Hogwarts student do you think will help you learn Quidditch? I think Oliver Wood. 
  • Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? Because Draco did.
  • What was Hagrid’s favorite puzzle toy? Rubeus Cube
  • How did Aragog get in touch with other spiders? The world wide WEB 
  • How did the winged, mythical creature get into Hogwarts? Through the Gryffindor.
  • Why do you call it when a wand goes missing at Hogwarts? A Hogwarts Mystery! 
  • What does Harry Potter’s red-haired friend have in common with a potion pot? They’re both cauld-ron.
  • What did the Golden Snitch say when Harry Potter was itchy? Quidditching! 
  • What did Fluffy say when he sat on sandpaper? Ruff Ruff!

More Harry Potter Jokes for Kids

  • What was Mad-Eye Moody considered the worst professor at Hogwarts? He couldn’t control his pupils.
  • Why did the Dark Lord cross the road? Because Potter couldn’t stop him 
  • Why did Dumbledore get annoyed at the sound of chains in the middle of the night? It was one of his Peeves. 
  • Did Harry’s mother pot daisy’s? No, she was a Lily Potter. 
  • Why did Trevor cross the road? To get away from Long Bottom
  • Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody. 
  • Why did the quidditch player travel on a broom? He didn’t have a vacuum cleaner
  • What did Ron Weasley say when Harry found his missing wand? That’s WANDerful!
  • Why was Draco’s shirt covered with dirt? He spent the day Slytherin 
  • What is the worst thing you can wear on your feet? A You-Know-Shoe.
  • What’s the best thing to use to catch fish at Hogwarts pond? A Griphook.
  • Why is Garrick Ollivander never home? He’s a wanderer!
  • What does Harry Potter and his Quidditch team have in common? They all fly on broomsticks
  • What do you call a flattened dragon? A lizard trading card.
  • How does Cho Chang get to Hogwarts? She takes the cho cho train.

Pun Themed Jokes

  • What do you call a friendly wizard who spends a lot of time at the gym? A huffletuff.
  • What spell will fix an injured bird? Reparrot.
  • What does Hagrid call his Great Dane when it’s sleeping? A snorehound.
  • What do you call someone that is half man, half horse, and has a big nose? A scentaur.
  • What spell creates enough water for everyone? Aguaplenty.
  • Where do goblins buy their candy? Moneydukes.
  • What do you call a magical glass ball that fills with smokey images of great battles? A rememberbrawl.
  • Who is in charge of putting out small fires in a wizard’s home? The douse-elf.
  • What do you call a tree that makes loud noises when it walks around at night? A clomping willow. 
  • What spell will make someone run faster? The Ranishing Charm.
  • How do you counteract the Blaming Solution? With a Deflecting Draught.
  • Which wizard village can sometimes be very hard to find? Fogsmeade.
  • What spell will harvest a grape vine in two seconds flat? Severus Grape.
  • What do you call someone who can’t use magic but is very affectionate about wizards and witches? A Huggle. 
  • Which monster likes to skateboard? Rampires.

Clever Harry Potter Jokes

  • What do you call an old leprechaun’s walking cane? A pixie stick. 
  • Where can you buy Peppermint Toads? Follow the peppermint road!
  • Why do wizard doctors only use Knuts and Galleons? They don’t like Sickles.
  • Why do mimes make good alchemists? They’re good with motions.
  • What do you call a ghost who turns grapes into wine? A fermentor.
  • What you call a magical barrier that protects you from evil? Da fence against the dark arts.
  • What book should you read if there isn’t any food in the fridge? Fantastic Feasts and Where to Find Them.
  • What award from Witch Weekly does Hermione want to win? The Most-Charming File award.
  • What type of broomstick flies so fast it makes you sick? The Vomit.
  • What did Professor McGonagall say about the Christmas present Dolores Umbridge gave her? It was an Ungiftable Purse.

If you had a laugh with these jokes, then you’ll enjoy our other “Harry Potter Jokes” and “Harry Potter Knock Knock Jokes.

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