Jokes
Cat jokes
I’m not kitten telling you that these cat jokes are hilarious. Did you see what I just did there, I used the word Kitten as kidding. Well here is a great list with many great jokes about cats in different situations. At the bottom of this page, you will also see a video with funny and sweet cats. Enjoy.
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- What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain.
- What do you call a pile of kittens?
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- What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
- What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
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- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
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- What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A terrified postman!
- What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
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- What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I’m paw!
- What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
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- What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
Claw Enforcement.
- What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
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- Why are cats so good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
- Why are cats so good at video games?
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- When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage!
- When is a lion not a lion?
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- Why is the cat so grouchy?
Because he’s in a bad mewd.
- Why is the cat so grouchy?
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- Why don’t cats like online shopping?
They prefer a cat-alogue.
- Why don’t cats like online shopping?
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- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had a litter of mittens.
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
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- What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
- What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
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- What do you call a flying cat?
I’m-paws-sible.
- What do you call a flying cat?
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- What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas!
- What do tigers wear in bed?
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- Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t?
Your lap.
- Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t?
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- There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats!
- There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
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- Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten, Dan?
Because curiosity killed the cat burglar.
- Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten, Dan?
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- How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
- How many cats can you put into an empty box?
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- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
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- Why did the cat wear a dress?
She was feline fine.
- Why did the cat wear a dress?
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- How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
- How do cats end a fight?
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- What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A car-pet.
- What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
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- What is the most breathless thing on television?
The Pink Panter Show!
- What is the most breathless thing on television?
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- What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
- What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
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- What is smarter than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!
- What is smarter than a talking cat?
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- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpetrator.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
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- If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
Their paws.
- If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
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- Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?
Because it turns “ice” into “mice”!
- Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?
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- What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
You got to be kitten me.
- What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
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- Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse!
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
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- Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Claws!
- Who delivers presents to cats?
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- What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
- What did the alien say to the cat?
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- Why did the cat sleep under the car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
- Why did the cat sleep under the car?
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- What do you call a cat that bowls?
An alley cat!
- What do you call a cat that bowls?
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- What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrrple!
- What is a cat’s favorite color?
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- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A stripey jumper!
- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
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- How do you make a cat happy?
Send it to the Canary Islands!
- How do you make a cat happy?
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- What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A sourpuss!
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
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- What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.
- What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?
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- What’s a cat’s favorite game?
Mouse Trap.
- What’s a cat’s favorite game?
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- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
Frostbite!
- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
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- How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
“Pleased to eat you.”
- How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
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- What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purrr-ple!
- What’s a cat’s favorite color?
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- How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes!
- How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
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- Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?
Because he has sandy claws!
- Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?
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- What do you call a dishonest African cat?
A lyin’ cub.
- What do you call a dishonest African cat?
Many more cat jokes
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- What is a French cat’s favorite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!
- What is a French cat’s favorite pudding?
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- Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?
Just kitten.
- Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?
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- Where do cats write down their notes?
On scratch paper!
- Where do cats write down their notes?
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- What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
A Furrari.
- What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
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- If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger?
A stri-ped!
- If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger?
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- What do you call a cat that gives up?
A quitty.
- What do you call a cat that gives up?
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- What looks like half a cat?
The other half!
- What looks like half a cat?
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- What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
- What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
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- What does a mouse weigh on a cat’s scale?
About three pounces!
- What does a mouse weigh on a cat’s scale?
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- What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
Bad Blood.
- What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
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- What do you call a cat that wears make up?
Glamourpuss.
- What do you call a cat that wears make up?
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- What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
Petsylvania.
- What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
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- What is the cat’s favorite TV show?
The evening mews!
- What is the cat’s favorite TV show?
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- What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
- What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
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- What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
Purrr-suasive.
- What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
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- What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’
- What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
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- What is a cat’s favorite dance move?
The Purr-colator.
- What is a cat’s favorite dance move?
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- Have you ever seen a catfish?
No. How did he hold the rod and reel?
- Have you ever seen a catfish?
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- What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
- What’s striped and bouncy?
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- What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
Let us prey.
- What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
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- What song does a cat like best?
Three Blind Mice.
- What song does a cat like best?
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- How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
- How is cat food sold?
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- Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Because of its bark.
- Why was the cat scared of the tree?
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- What do you feed an invisible cat?
Evaporated milk.
- What do you feed an invisible cat?
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- What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!
- What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
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- What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth!
- What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
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- What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?
Catch!
- What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?
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- What is a cats favorite vegetable?
As-purr-agus.
- What is a cats favorite vegetable?
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- What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!
- What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
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- Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!
- Why can’t a leopard hide?
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- Who was the most powerful cat in China?
Chairman Miaow!
- Who was the most powerful cat in China?
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- Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
Because it “littered.
- Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
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- Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?
It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.
- Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?
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- Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
- Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
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- What do cats like to eat on sunny days?
Mice cream cones!
- What do cats like to eat on sunny days?
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- What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote?
Paws.
- What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote?
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- What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
- What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
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- Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
She let the cat out of the bag.
- Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
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- What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?
A pet project.
- What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?
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- Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
She was purr-plexed.
- Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
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- How do the Vietnamese like their soup?
Purrrrrfect.
- How do the Vietnamese like their soup?
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- Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!
- Why was the cat so small?
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- What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws!
- What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
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- What kind of car does a fat cat drive?
A Catillac!
- What kind of car does a fat cat drive?
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- What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool?
The “whisker”.
- What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool?
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- What do you call a cat that smells good?
Prrrr-fume.
- What do you call a cat that smells good?
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- What do cats wear at night?
Paw-jamas!
- What do cats wear at night?
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- What is a cats favorite musical instrument?
Purr-cussion.
- What is a cats favorite musical instrument?
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- Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
Because it squeaked.
- Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
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- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
An eskimew!
- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
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- What do you call a cat on ice?
One cool cat.
- What do you call a cat on ice?
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- Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
- Why are cats better than babies?
The last 25 funny cat jokes
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- What is a feline’s favorite day of the week?
Caturday.
- What is a feline’s favorite day of the week?
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- What do you call a cat that can address the media?
A Press Kit.
- What do you call a cat that can address the media?
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- Why did the cat go to the river?
Claws it wanted to.
- Why did the cat go to the river?
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- What do you call a painting of a cat?
A paw-trait.
- What do you call a painting of a cat?
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- What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
Ten after One.
- What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
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- What do you call a cat that does tricks?
A magic kit.
- What do you call a cat that does tricks?
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- What is a cat’s favourite subject in school?
HISStory.
- What is a cat’s favourite subject in school?
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- What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
- What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
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- What’s the first thing you say to a cat?
HELLO KITTY!
- What’s the first thing you say to a cat?
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- What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?
Purrr-verted.
- What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?
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- Why did the cat cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
- Why did the cat cross the road?
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- What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
He stole the whole show!
- What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
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- How do you make cats furry?
The spin cycle.
- How do you make cats furry?
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- What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
Quicksand.
- What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
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- What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
Me-ow!
- What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
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- For a man to truly understand rejection.
He must first be ignored by a cat.
- For a man to truly understand rejection.
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- What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws!
- What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
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- Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?
She was a sher-paw.
- Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?
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- Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse.
- Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
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- Two cats are sitting in front of bird’s cage and observe a newly arrived green canary.
One cat says to the other, “It really is a strange color for a bird. Maybe he’s not ripe yet.”
- Two cats are sitting in front of bird’s cage and observe a newly arrived green canary.
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- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten, who?
Quit kitten around and open the door!
- Knock, knock.
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- A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a cat sitting next to him.
“Are you a cat?” asked the man, surprised.
“Yes,” the cat replied.
“What are you doing at the movies??” the man asked.
“Well,” said the cat. “I liked the book.”
- A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a cat sitting next to him.
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- A young boy felt bad after he accidentally let the neighbor’s cat get loose. After two weeks, the missing cat seemed to be gone for good.
“I’m very sorry,” the boy told the neighbor.
“I’d like to replace it for you.”
“O.K.,” the neighbor said. “How good are you at catching mice?”
- A young boy felt bad after he accidentally let the neighbor’s cat get loose. After two weeks, the missing cat seemed to be gone for good.
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- How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show?
Somebody didn’t shut the champion’s cage properly.
- How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show?
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- Since my cat is getting old, I’m gonna start calling him by a new name…
GrandPAW.
- Since my cat is getting old, I’m gonna start calling him by a new name…
This videoe was uploaded by “Funny Cat”
There is well over 100 cat jokes here, did you read them all? No matter, if you liked them, please leave a comment and if you know any good cat jokes, please submit them buy using the “submit” button in the main menu.
Have a great day you all.
