Thanksgiving jokes

• • What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
    Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

• • A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground.
    The sweet potato told the potato, Hey, I just found out I’m related to you.”
    The potato said,” No you’re are not!”
    The sweet potato said back,”Yes, I yam.”

• • What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
    God save the kin.

• • Young Michael was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
    ‘What are you doing?’ Michael enquired.
    ‘Oh, I’m just stuffing the turkey,’ his grandmother replied.
    ‘Wow, that’s cool.’ Michael remarked. ‘Are you going to hang it next to the deer?’

• • When a Butterball Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in (meaning how thawed was it) the caller responded with, “Florida.”

• • What sound does a space turkey make?
    Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

• • Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
    Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

• • The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field.While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”
    “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

• • For the first time, we are going to have a happy Thanksgiving.
    This year, I am stuffing the turkey with Prozac!

• • Happy Turkey Day, America! Don’t forget to name the turkey and make everyone uncomfortable.

• • A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough.
    She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
    The stock boy replied “No they’re dead.”

• • John: I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.
    Tom: What are you serving instead?
    John: Squash.

• • It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family.
    Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone.
    The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
    “Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.
    “Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.
    “I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

• • Josh: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
    Phil: Why?
    Josh: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

• • My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I couldn’t quit “cold turkey”.

• • Hope your Turkey is moist and your stuffing in fluffy and when you’re done eating you’ll be nice and stuffy.

• • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
    Pilgrims.

• • Dan: Why did the turkey cross the road?
    Bob: I don’t know.
    Dan: It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

• • What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
    Pumpkin pi.

• • Knock Knock.
    Who There?
    Thanksgiving!
    Thanksgiving for what?
    Thanks giving us this turkey.

• • Sister: Mom wants your to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner.
    Brother: Why? Is it broken?

• • What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
    Squash.

• • How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
    He was very thinkful.

• • Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
    They use FOWL language.

• • What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
    Plymouth Rock.

• • How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
    One, but you really have to squeeze him in!

• • What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
    Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.

• • What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
    A turkey that can pluck itself!

• • Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
    It had 24 carrots.

• • What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
    He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

• • Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
    Yes – a building can’t jump at all.

• • Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?
    A turkey because it is always stuffed.

• • When do you serve tofu turkey?
    Pranksgiving.

• • Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down?
    Because their belt buckles are on their hats!

• • What did baby corn say to mama corn?
    Where’s popcorn?

• • What are unhappy cranberries called?
    Blueberries!

• • Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
    Because April showers bring Mayflowers!

• • Dear Turkeys, don’t worry… they only love us for our breasts too.
    Sincerely, women.

• • Why did they let the turkey join the band?
    Because he had the drumsticks.

• • If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
    Their AGE!

• • If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want?
    It simply wants to run away.

• • What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
    “If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!”

• • What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy?
    Spanksgiving.

• • What does Miley Cyrus eat at Thanksgiving?
    Twerk-ey!

• • What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
    Your teeth.

• • What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving?
    Turkeys & people after Thanksgiving dinner.

• • What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
    Boy! I’m stuffed!

Funny thanksgiving jokes

• • Why did the police arrest the turkey?
    They suspected it of fowl play.

• • Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
    The outside.

• • What do you call an evil turkey?
    Poultry-Geist.

• • Teacher: “What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?”
    Student: “Baseballs.”
    Teacher: “Baseballs?”
    Student: “Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!”

• • What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
    He had an arrow escape.

• • What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
    The turkey.

• • A poultry farmer was experimenting to breed turkeys with more legs for greater profits. Finally, he succeeded. While narrating the results to his friends, he told them, “The turkey I bred had six legs!”
    His friends who had got quite excited, eagerly asked, “What about the taste?”
    The farmer said with a long-drawn face, “Do you think it is so easy to catch it?”

• • What key has legs and can’t open doors?
    A Turkey.

• • What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
    To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

• • Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
    Because they never learned good table manners!

• • Why did the turkey cross the road?
    It was the chicken’s day off!

• • When does your brother bring his new girlfriend to dinner?
    Skanksgiving.

• • What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
    Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

• • Two pilgrims go out hunting. One has two blunderbusses.
    The second pilgrim asks, “Why do you have two blunderbusses?”
    The first pilgrim explains, “I usually miss the first time I shoot. By taking two I can shoot again”. The second pilgrim thinks for a while and then says, “Why not just take the second one, and only shoot once?”

• • What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
    Turkey feathers.

• • Which cat discovered America?
    Christofurry Columbus.

• • What do you call a running turkey?
    Fast food.

• • What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
    Pilgrimage.

• • What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
    The turkey trot.

• • Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?”
    Student: “So we know when to start Christmas shopping!”

• • What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus?
    Gobbleheads.

• • What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary?
    Pilgrammar.

• • Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Annie.
    Annie who?
    Annie body seen the turkey?

• • What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
    Puritan.

• • What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain?
    Pil-grimace.

• • What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
    Fangs-giving.

• • What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim?
    Pilgrim Reaper.

• • What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
    Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

• • In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated?
    Turkey.

• • A man always wanted a parrot since he was a boy, his family knowing this decided to surprise him on thanksgiving day.
    Now the parrot wasn’t raised in a Christian environment and it was mocking, insulting, and threatening the man.
    That thanksgiving day he got the man, so angry that he put the parrot in the freezer. After 3 minutes, he let the parrot out.
    The parrot says, “I take it by your attitude and behavior I somehow offended you.”
    The man says “You did.!”
    Then the parrot say “Can I ask you one more question?”
    The man says “Sure. What is it?”
    The parrot asked “What did the turkey do?”

• • Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Harry.
    Harry who?
    Harry up I’m hungry for Thanksgiving dinner!

• • What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
    A poultrygeist!

• • Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
    The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

• • Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
    To hatchet.

Last 10 thansgiving jokes

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• • Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Howie.
    Howie who?
    Howie am I suppose to walk in this turkey costume?

• • If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
    Goblet.

• • Why dont people in the ghetto celebrate thanksgiving?
    KFC isnt open on holidays.

• • What kids movie do you watch on Thanksgiving?
    The Mighty Turduckens!

• • What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
    Wing! Wing!

• • What do you call a stuffed animal?
    You after thanksgiving.

• • What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
    One has gobblers, the other goblins.

• • What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
    Your nose.

• • Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Tamara.
    Tamara who?
    Tamara we’ll have turkey leftovers!

• • A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.
    He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.
    The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea.
    He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read. MAIN ENTRANCE.