Silly jokes
Silly jokes should be enjoyed with happiness and wonder like children do. Ever herd the phrase “When are you going to grow up” or “You are so silly”. Well what’s wrong with being a silly? I say that life is too short to not be silly. Ever wonder why children have such wonder about most things, and why they are happy almost all the time? Because they aren’t serious, they enjoy life, adults forget that sometimes. Be like a kid and enjoy the simple and silly things once in a while.
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- Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I’m a barber.
- Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
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- Man to a butcher: “I’d like bull’s testicles.”
Butcher: “So would I”
- Man to a butcher: “I’d like bull’s testicles.”
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- What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
- What did the paper say to the pencil?
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- Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems!
- Why did the math book look so sad?
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- Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
- Why did the picture go to jail?
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- What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
- What do elves learn in school?
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- Where should a 500 pound alien go?
On a diet.
- Where should a 500 pound alien go?
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- Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school.
- Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
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- What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.
- What did one toilet say to the other?
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- What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
Lonely.
- What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
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- What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
A zebra with a sun burn.
- What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
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- What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
- What did one wall say to the other wall?
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- Which flower talks the most?
Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!
- Which flower talks the most?
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- Why was the broom late?
It over swept!
- Why was the broom late?
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- Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pencil-vania.
- Where do pencils go for vacation?
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- Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
- Why do dragons sleep during the day?
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- What is green and sits crying in the corner?
The incredible Sulk.
- What is green and sits crying in the corner?
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- What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
- What gets wetter the more it dries?
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- Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?
Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
- Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?
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- Why do bicycles fall over?
Because they are two-tired!
- Why do bicycles fall over?
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- What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
- What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
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- What part of the car is the laziest?
The wheels, because they are always tired!
- What part of the car is the laziest?
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- Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
- Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
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- What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
Someday my prints will come!
- What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
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- How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
- How do you make a tissue dance?
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- What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?
Keep your shirt on!
- What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?
Many more silly jokes
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- What is blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
- What is blue and smells like red paint?
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- We’re you long in the hospital?
No, I was the same size I am now!
- We’re you long in the hospital?
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- Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.
- Why do cows wear bells?
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- What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we will go places!
- What did the stamp say to the envelope?
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- What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out, and the train says “chew chew chew.”
- What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
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- What is blue and goes ding dong?
An Avon lady at the North Pole!
- What is blue and goes ding dong?
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- Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
- Why are elephants so wrinkled?
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- What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
- What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
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- What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
- What do you call a fake noodle?
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- Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck!
- Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
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- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
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- Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
They had just finished a March of 31 days.
- Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
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- What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something!
- What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
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- Why was the belt arrested?
Because it held up some pants!
- Why was the belt arrested?
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- What makes the calendar seem so popular?
Because it has a lot of dates!
- What makes the calendar seem so popular?
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- Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
- Why are fish so smart?
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- Which hand is it better to write with?
Neither, it’s best to write with a pen!
- Which hand is it better to write with?
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- Why do you go to bed every night?
Because the bed won’t come to you!
- Why do you go to bed every night?
Here are the last 15 silly jokes
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- What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt!
- What did 0 say to 8?
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- What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
Her nose!
- What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
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- Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He wanted to find Pluto!
- Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
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- What is green and has yellow wheels?
Grass… I lied about the wheels!
- What is green and has yellow wheels?
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- What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milk shake!
- What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
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- Why did Billy go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!
- Why did Billy go out with a prune?
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- Did you hear about the robbery last night?
Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!
- Did you hear about the robbery last night?
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- Why did the man run around his bed?
To catch up on his sleep!
- Why did the man run around his bed?
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- What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A minnie van!
- What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
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- Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
Because it’s too cold out-tide!
- Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
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- What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
- What has four wheels and flies?
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- What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop!
- What do you call a pig that knows karate?
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- Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
He wanted to make a clean get away!
- Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
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- Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?
Because they take too long to change!
- Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?
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- What goes up and down but does not move?
Stairs.
- What goes up and down but does not move?
This videoe was uploaded by “designtree1028”
I’m I guy in my 30s, I am married and have 2 kids. And yes I´m silly sometimes. That’s why I like small silly things like these silly jokes. My life philosophy is all about enjoying life, I don’t want to be that grownup that is serious all the time and don’t have time for silly things with my kids or enjoy a cartoon once in a while. I hope you are living your life to full potential, life it to short otherwise and you only get one change at it. Have a great day.